The reason women get this more harshly than men is that we live in a patriarchal culture that both shames and commodifies female sexuality. If you have too much, you’re a slut - used, busted, ruined, untrustworthy, unfaithful, cheap, dangerous, and undesirable. Women are taught the great double standard of sex more brutally than men, but we’ve all heard it: Have sex, but not too much. Our culture tells women: Close your legs, lose weight, wear makeup, smile. People have been telling you what you to do - what you “should” do - all your life. Get a blank book and start writing in it. You can’t do anything with a sex life that you refuse to acknowledge.Ĥ. Coming out is the first step to discovering your sexual self - a self that needs tending with the same care and devotion as your health does, as your marriage does, as your job does. It impacts people - your friends and neighbours, the people you work with, the people you see at the grocery store. They need us to be here, active and present in the world.Ĭoming out is political. We come out because it’s the greatest gift we can bring to LGBT youth. We come out because it’s healthy and life-affirming to do so. We come out because our brothers and sisters can’t. “Waiting until you’re ready” is an apology for lying by omission.
If you fear for your life, stay in the closet. If you’re in one of several countries in the Middle East and Africa with harsh antihomosexuality laws, stay in the closet. If you’re in Chechnya, stay in the closet. I’m there, gasping in wonder, watching my first good porn. I’m standing behind them in the room, barefoot on the beige carpet, smelling their sweat, listening to the squeak of the shaking bed, studying the dusty cream-coloured lampshade on the night table, watching him slam thrust after thrust of raw, nine-inch cock in some man’s stretched pink asshole. His moans are muffled - he seems to be yelling into the pillow, but I can’t tell. The poor guy getting gutted sounds halfway to tears. He pushes the muscle bottom onto his back, pulls his ankles up, and slams his cock in the poor man’s hole - one long, hard, flat thrust. “That’s going to hurt him,” I remember thinking in horror. The guy on the bed stands up and swings a massive dick across the screen. One video passed undetected through my parents’ adult content blocker on our family internet.Ī muscle boy wearing a black blindfold is straddling a guy lying on his back, reverse-cowboy style.
Here are 24 ways to plunge back into the joys of gay sex. You’re 60 and horny - is there any fun left?Ĭome with me to Eden. You want more sex, but you’re convinced no one will like your body. Newly single - what next? Divorced at 40 - what now? You’ve never learned what sex you really like, just did as you were told - too late to learn? You want to come out of the closet, but you’re scared of what your family will think. If you’re at a sexual crossroads, it’s time to wake up. A million scholars have proposed sociocultural reasons for this - the subjugation of women as property, a disease preventative, and so on - and ever since then, “sex people” like me have been attempting to spread a different Word: Sex is good for you, something to love, and far from evil.
Several thousand years ago, the idea birthed that sex was something to fear. And for the entire remainder of the Bible, sex is written as something we should be wary of, something that leads us outside God’s will, a temptation used by the devil. You know the rest: Original Sin, the serpent snaking itself down through the branches with an apple in its mouth, then we, humans, get sentenced to lives of labour and childbirth and death.
The rib of Adam plucked from his bones - then, what? The skin of her body weaving around it, the tissues gently pressing together. If we are to entertain the word of the Judeo-Christian God, on the sixth day he made us.